An Understanding Way

As a young missionary, relatively new on the field, about to embark on a huge adventure, I have a lot on my mind.  I have purchases to make.  A house to renovate.  Vehicle maintenance.  Planning.  Culture.  Language.

Family.

When I married Kaylee, I made a covenant with her before God to love and protect her, care and provide for her for the rest of my life.  As God blessed us with 3 daughters, they were each added to that covenant and my responsibilities expanded to the teaching and training of children.  In Ephesians 5:22-6:4 we find the theological foundations for, and responsibilities of, these relationships.  Love and Respect. Obedience and Instruction.

But what does it mean practically to "love her as my own body?"  If my early 20s (when I met Kaylee) are any indication, that could be interpreted to mean that I could expect her to do hard labor for 10+ hours/day on little sleep and a poor diet, then freeze half to death while hunting or camping on the weekend.  I'm no Grizzly Adams, but I can put up with a lot and I'm looking forward to the adventurous aspects of living in Urubichá. 

Kaylee is not.  She is not the adventurous type.  A quick look at her personal blog should be enough to demonstrate the struggles she has had in moving to another country and adapting to life here.  Now we're taking the BIG step to a place where no one speaks English, the climate is hot and humid, and most of the supplies that we consider basic necessities are hours away by road.

Over the past few years, I have been drawn a lot more to I Peter 3:7, especially in how it relates to me as a missionary and the husband of a missionary wife:

                                      Likewise, husbands, 
                                          live with your wives in an understanding way, 
                                               showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, 
                                                    since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, 
                                               so that your prayers may not be hindered. (ESV) 

The consequences for not taking Peter's exhortation to heart are serious:  not only will I have a bad marriage, it will affect my prayer life.  It's as though God is Kaylee's protective father:   

"Treat her right, or I'm not going to listen to you."

Considering that I am dependent on God for every aspect of my life, without even the pretense of providing for myself, that is a very sobering thought.  Even setting aside the fact that I really do love my wife and wish the best for her, there is still a very strong compulsion to take this seriously.

So how do I apply this to my life?  Beyond the normal aspects of this command as we usually interpret it in our culture (emotional support, caring, romance, etc), I have some other, more tangible considerations to make, simply due to our lifestyle.  How do I apply "an understanding way" to a life that is so different from anything we have ever known?

Is it enough to provide her with a concrete floor, rather than a dirt one?  Running water?  An indoor bathroom?  Make more frequent trips out to the city?  Pay for good internet so she can keep in touch with friends and family?  Provide a shed so my tools aren't in the house?

My desire is to be a compassionate, servant leader of my family.  Please pray for wisdom for me as a husband, that I will always be careful to consider the needs of my wife as we walk this road together.

Project: Baby Beds

About 6 months ago, Kaylee discovered a company called Hearts For Hearts that makes some very cute dolls.  They represent girls from around the world and part of the proceeds of each purchase goes to World Vision, a Christian humanitarian-aid group.

We decided to invest in Tipi (from Laos), Zelia (from Brazil), and Dell (from the US) as Christmas gifts for the girls.  My cousin Alexis brought them down in October when she came to visit us for three months.  We spent that time setting them up with a little house.

While Kaylee made mattresses, quilts, and pillows, and extra clothes, I made beds.

We also picked up a to-scale oven, kitchenware, and dressers at the Feria de Alasitas, an annual fair that specializes in miniatures.  Kaylee made walls out of cardboard, wrapping paper, and a few goodies.

Anne's Zelia:

Addi's Tipi:

Lydia's Dell:

More pictures, including the girls at play are in my Picasa web albums.

Junior Tinkers: Pink Paint!

Our organization has been going through some changes here that involved sorting through a lot of old tools and supplies to downsize.  In the process, I came across about a quart of pink paint!

The girls' school table is a rough beast that I bought down in the Cancha and then whacked the legs off of, over a year ago.  Over the past year it has cracked and twisted and gotten colored on.  We decided it was the perfect place to put pink paint!

While Kaylee was at the church's ladies' retreat, I had 3 days by myself with the girls.  I thought a special father-daughter activity would be a good highlight to the weekend, so while the girls napped, I pulled out my angle grinder (from the same place as the paint!) and put its sanding disc to work on the top.  It's too fast for a really good finish, but it got the job done.

Then, when the girls were up from their rest, it was time to get the paint out!

They wore some of my work shirts

I had to clip their shirts at the shoulders, so they would stay on!

On Sunday, the four of us were getting ready to go to church without Kaylee, but while I had all three girls in the shower, the power went out.  Remember, our shower is an instant-hot electric "widow maker" (I wrote about that here), so it went cold fast!  I had to rinse them off with cold, which didn't go well.  Then, while they dried and got warm in front of the propane heater, I hunted for, found, and fixed the short circuit that caused the problem.

By that time, it was too late to make it to church, so we did church at home, with the new table!  Because of the situation we're in with our landlord and moving, we talked about and colored the story of Paul and Silas and their response to hard times in the Philippian jail, and the blessing that came from it.