Decisions, decisions. . .

I hate making decisions.

I'll just go ahead and throw that out at the beginning.  If I have one failure as a leader, it's in the area of decision-making.

I'm by no means alone in this.  Lots of people loathe decisions.  For me, if it's cut and dried, it's easy.    I choose ice cream over veggies, any time.  No problem.  But what flavor?  Chocolate-chip mint or strawberry?  Rocky Road or Goo-Goo Cluster?  Now that's something to spend time on and ponder.

Unfortunately, even some of the bigger decisions of life can be weighed in the balance and come out too close to call.  I had a decision to make today, and it wasn't easy.  Here's the story:

For about 9 months, I have been planning a trip out to the tribal village where we someday hope to work.  That's not to say that I actually prepped for it (another failure of mine), but I've been thinking about it and looking forward to it.  Our original plan is that I would make the trip while we were in Santa Cruz, last week.

Unfortunately, that fell through because our contacts there in the village were going to be in the city during that time.  This past week, my in-laws have been here, visiting us.  The new plan was that I would fly to Santa Cruz to help them out of the country, then go out to the tribe.  Up until this morning, that was the plan.

However, this afternoon, I had to make a decision:

On the one hand, my wife and kids are wiped out from 3 weeks of craziness and continual change.  I have a video presentation to finish (with my new, blazing-fast desktop PC brought down by my in-laws!).  I have  a trip to Oruro to plan for next month.  I have a 4x4 to find.

On the other hand, I have been thinking, waiting, and praying about this trip to Urubichá for many, many months.  I want to see the location where we will someday be working.  I want to take photos, to share with all of you.  I want to know my future co-workers better.

The upshot of the matter is that I made a decision.  It took 3 hours, and I don't like it.  But it's made, and I think it's better this way.  I'm still going to Santa Cruz tonight with my in-laws, but tomorrow, instead of getting on a bus, I'll spend the afternoon looking at Toyotas and then fly home in the evening to be with my family again.

And then, I know I'll feel better about my decision.